Why is it tough to be the new student in school? (top five psychological factors)?…

1. Fear of unknown, we all know from own experience when we have minimal information about the situation it can be anxiety provoking and especially if someone have poor coping skills to deal with the situation. 
2. Children might feel rushed and pressured by the parents for preparation for school year. Parents due to shortage of time might try to do things quickly while children take their time and cannot get ready or think fast or organize them, can create anxiety. 
3. Student might have some bad experience in the past that can trigger anxiety or restless feeling.  If they have, unpleasant experience of being bullied or mal treated at nursery or previous school can trigger fear of same treatment. 
4. Parents may be too busy to prepare the children or not prepare at all. Parents may not be able to understand starting new school or going back to school after few months spending unstructured time and then getting back to routine and face the new challenges in terms of homework attending classes being with same age children is stressful. 
5. Transition from fun activities of vacation time to responsibilities of school and expectations of homework and regularities of daily habits. During vacation time usually family have late sleeping time and fun activities like site seeing,  travelling, visiting family friends is very relaxed time which will be different then starting school and going back to school day routines. 

   How can you cope with them? What advise can we give new students to cope and fit in?

    

1. After a slow summer vacation time, school activities will be a change to busier schedule. So During the latter part of summer and before school opening if parents can help children to start preparing for school like collecting school supplies what is needed and also talking and may be role playing ( for younger children) about the school daily activities. Talking with them how they feel about going back to school? What re their questions or concerns once school is open? Listen carefully and try to answer as much as you can. Be supportive and help them relax don not put pressure or show you are anxious because of them going to school.
2. If there are past experiences which is not good, talk to them and listen to them and try to address, ( Do not hesitate even if you need professional help)
3. Improve communication with children. Teach them this is ok to talk about their difficulties and you are ready to listen and will not be judgmental.
4. Follow the queues if they hint toward something, which is bothering them try to listen and talk about it, and answer honestly to the best of your knowledge if you do not know tell them you do not know.

Some of the students we spoke to said the pressures they faced include other students already being part of their own group. So it was difficult to be an outsider, which caused them to be self conscious.  Some said they were teased for being new students.

Stuttering or Stammering.

Causes (exact cause is unknown) How ever

1. Inherited causes.  Genes play role in development of stuttering. It is thought that people who carry genes for stuttering can develop this disorder some point in life whenever there is circumstances that can lead genes expression like (Stress full life events, mental health issues, anxiety etc.) Pathologically it appears that there is incoordination in the sound producing muscles which interferes with fluency of the longer sentence production. Shorter sentences may be fine like the children at the age between 2-5 years when they learn to make longer sentences like from “Mommy Burger” to “mommy can I have burger too”. Stuttering has associations with low frustration tolerance, (individuals who have this, more often tighten there muscle hence deterioration or worsening of stuttering. Other’s reaction of teasing to stuttering (leading to emotional response like shame, embarrassment, anxiety) which can make it worse.

1. Treatment:  Speech and language therapist teach the persons to control their speech with speaking low and maintain relaxation while talking.  Trying to talk slow and smoothly usually much slower than normal speech.
2. Treatment of underlying mental Health issues like anxiety (Which can make it worse)
3. People who stutter usually are aware of this difficulty. That it takes longer for them to say the sentence. This put them under pressure to say the things rapidly and make it difficult for them to continue speech in smooth way and timely manner. Listeners are usually unsure how to respond to it , this lack of information how to respond, leads listener to do things like they might, look away, or fill in sentences, or interrupt or not to talk to the person at all. They also might get annoyed and become impatient which can make the speech even worse.
4. When talking to people who stutter, it is always advice able to give them time and show them you are relaxed and not bothered by their slow or uneven speech and willing to listen patiently. Not to tell then “slow down a bit” or “take a deep breath” or “Relax” By doing that it only makes it worse.
5. It may not be a bad idea to ask the person who stutters that how would you like me to respond. It will put them at ease and do not talk down or treat them differently. In addition, give them message that listener understands the stuttering and interested to listen.

Disclaimer: All contents on this site are for general information and in no circumstances information be substituted for professional advise from th relevent healthcare professional, Writer does not take responsibilitiy of any damage done by the misuse or use of the information

Depression and addiction: The price some celebrities pay for fame

The death of Robin Williams is another reminder that smiling faces may hide behind serious illnesses. (File photo: Reuters)

When Children should start formal education

1.  It is controversial when Children should start formal education. In 90% of the world countries, it starts between 6-7 years of age, But in Finland formal education starts at age 7 years they have their reasoning behind it. In UK 130 teachers write a letter and educators to the education system advocating to start formal education at age 7 like Finland (Scandinavian countries). Rational behind is it is too soon too much pressure and it can hamper the progress and can create psychological problems in young brain.

However not all children are alike some may be ready earlier than others however individualized assessment and readiness should be taken into consideration. Some nurseries provide paly-based education without formal education until age 6 that seems more reasonable.

Message is :  Too much too early may have negative impact on the developing brain.

1. Parent face dilemma of few months short of admission age. In that case, parent should continue the playgroup approach with young one is having them familiarize the basics of initial year’s education to help them get ready for the formal education.

        2.There are group of educational experts argued in favor of starting the formal education late like in Scandinavian countries. Their reasoning behind is too much too early can influence the growing brain negatively. We do see in the school system not uncommonly the children who are barely making through the initial years develop constant anxiety and  sometime may lead to negative attitude about the school and whole concept of schooling.

A letter written by 130 teachers, academics and authors said the UK should follow the Scandinavian model and put off formal lessons for two years.

Under the UK’s current system, children start full-time schooling at the age of four or five.

Experts say this is causing ‘profound damage’ in a generation which is not encouraged to learn through play.

But the call was last night dismissed by as ‘misguided’ by a spokesman for the Education Secretary Michael Gove.

Children in the UK are obliged by law to be in school aged five, which the lobby group said is creating a ‘too much, too soon’ culture.

The warning singled out recent government proposals which mean five year olds could be formally tested from the beginning of their schooling.

Under the current system, children are first assessed at the age of seven. But under Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg’s proposals, a ‘baseline’ test could be introduced in the first year of primary school.

The group of experts warned that monitoring a pupil’s progress from such a young age promotes stress and fear around learning.

Respecting Privacy is one of the most important aspects to gain trust of your child, but at the same time you don’t want your child to take major risks due to ignorance.

Although Parents have seen the child growing and have changed and clothed him/her. Child starts getting annoyed If you become intrusive. Child needs privacy and to master it.

Privacy Signal given by Children:

Asking verbally for private space.  When the child starts saying they need privacy. You being parent have no right to stay close or in the shower with child if he/she is yelling “go out”. Give them space and never reason that you are his/her parent. Give them time alone if they are requesting, such requests should be taken very seriously.

Asking for own room:

When Child requests his/her own room. This is the time when it should be given if possible. Now they start realizing the need for separate space for changing and hiding underwear.

When they start asking to knock before you enter. Respect their request and never spy on them.

Children deserve the increased privacy as they grow to the adolescent years.

Following are helpful hints about the Privacy and how to handle it.

Accepting new role:

Grade school children might start hiding while changing and this may appear as a new behavior. While before they would care less. These changes are due to physical and mental changes.  Don’t get annoyed if child shut the door.  And never tease saying that “ I have seen you before”.

Don’t Grant total Privacy:

While in the public bathroom child should be supervised. Child should be educated that you may be examined by the pedriatition. Random asking about privacy rules and occasionally Doctor or the parents have to look at their body.  Sometime child themselves ask you to be there while they are using the bathroom, as a parent you should be available like staying close and may be reading paper or doing some other activity nearby.

Teaching the skill of changing:

Teach the child how to change in Public bathrooms (changing while towel is warped around the waist), Never go to the Public bathroom alone. Help them understand the safe and unsafe places to change and be there.

Expect Inconsistency and that should be respected:

Sometime children will ask to be with them while they are using restroom at other times they don’t like. Respect their wish and be available if they say so. Extreme behavior should be interpreted with caution.

Change in Behavior:

Some time children starts behaving differently and become too embarrassed or exposing themselves too much, Both situation should be taken cautiously. There might be something to look for, but never the less behavior can be due to being with very modest friend or otherwise. Don’t jump to conclusions and don’t respond prematurely by saying something must had happened.

Teaching good Habit:

This is also time to teach children healthy hygienic habits, Cleaning the private parts, and practice good behavior. Educating them about the body changes and changes in feelings with opposite sex preferences and how to handle those feelings. Answer there question and never say no.  If you don’t answer somebody else will and you don’t know how that person will respond. Establish trust with your child and use it to guide and educate the child.

Practice good habits of covering up:

If you walk in home semi naked children will feel embarrassed initially and later they might get used to it and start copying the behavior. Usually 7-9 year old children either hide if you are wearing improperly or they may giggle while seeing you.

It is good practice to knock before you enter the Child’s room and respect their privacy.

Bath robe is helpful to help them feel secure because at times towel might fall off while they are coming out of the shower/bathroom.

If Child is waiting outside the bathroom for you, always come out while Towel or robe is covering you.

Always lock the bather room and shower door and set rules for privacy.

Don’t do’s

Never Post anything on your children’s Face book or any other media account wall.

Don’t be friend with your child on social Media.

Don’t friend with your child’s friend even if you know them before on social media.

Never ever look at their shoulder while they are texting.

Same sex parent should educate about the sexual issues.

Never spy and make judgments about your own suspicions about the child.

Early intervention to prevent Children Delinquencies

http://www.thenational.ae/news/uae-news/social-workers-aim-for-early-intervention-to-tackle-dubai-youth-crime

http://gulfnews.com/news/world/other-world/special-report-decoding-the-mind-of-a-rapist-1.1124611

“Rape and the Rapist some understandings about the crime.”

1.How can we simplify the psychology of rape? What or how can we define the mind of a rapist?

Answer:     Although Psychology of Rapist is very complex because different mechanisms involve which is poorly understood, however there are two broad views about Rape.

According to psychology theory Rapist has some psychological unresolved conflicts from the child hood ranging from sexual abuse to deprivation and poor relational concept with (female) women, Rapist might have impulse control issue, or sex addictions or having antisocial motives and/or have underlying mental illness.

While according to sociology theory explains the sexual permissiveness in the society is the cause and/or male dominance is somehow expressed through this heinous crime following rejection by a woman. (5% of women and 0.4 % of men experience rape)  (Cross Government Action Plan on Sexual Violence and Abuse www.homeoffice.gov.uk/documents/ Sexual-violence-action-plan)

Often time the Rape victim is to be blamed of not appropriately dressing and making unsafe choices to give the opportunity to the rapist to commit crime ( which is debate able)

2. Could you list tell-tale signs on how to identify a rapist? Do they have a pattern? Can rape be impulsive? Sexual abuse amounting rape in majority of cases is not the strnger.

Answer:      Rapist could be Known (family friend, acquaintances, neighbor and worst case scenario father or brother or strangers could be any one and very difficult to identify).

However commonly Rapist has lots of social problems, full of anger and hattered and may have been victim of sexual abuse during childhood.  Drug addict and sudden angry out bursts put someone at higher risk.

Rapist can have Impulse control issues combined with antisocial element and cannot resist sexual impulses.

Sexual abuse amounting to rape majority of time is by the known person who knows the victim.  Someone might have unresolved psychological conflict relating the female, sexual satisfaction non availability, anger and frustration of being abused at some point in life, revenge feeling toward the society or the victim and family etc.

3. Can rapists be categorized? Are there many kinds of rapists (based on differing degrees of violence or torture involved)?

Answer: It is very hard to categorize the Rapist. Old myth that Rapist will look certain way or will have big scar on the cheek is not true. Rapist can be a person sitting next to you in the class, or Cinema Theater or mopping in the corridor quietly.

Different rape categories are   Date Rape, Marital Rape, Drug Rape, incest rape, rape by pedophile. Rape at isolated places, Rape by serial rapist.

4. Can a common man be triggered to rape? What are the potential triggers? Is being angry at a woman and being unable to express the anger a trigger?

Answer:     As study shows it is very difficult to segregate the rapist from the law abiding citizen. However psychologically disturbed person loner or having few/none friends having under lying mental illness, being sexually abused put someone at higher risk to be the perpetrator. Revenge rapes have been reported in the media but are unpredictable and is usually associated with antisocial behavior.

5. How would you explain the psyche of a man who has no criminal record, is a normal person and has no violent streak and yet rapes a relative?

Answer:  Isolated introverted usually single male who usually fantasize sexual act with the known victim reach to the point where cannot resist the impulses to act on.

6. While a common man/woman may see rape as an act of brutality or sheer terror, how would a rapist see rape?

Rapist are different types as mentioned above they probably view the rape victim as sex object ( as rapist may have been abused by himself and see this an opportunity to reenact his impulses), as weak member of the society who cannot defend themselves, isolated psychologically disturbed men act impulsively to satisfy his sexual frustration in heinous way.

Rape is significantly under reported even in the very open societies. Nobody is immune to it and general safety precautions and helpful hints to avoid this, should be learned and practiced.

Few tips to help avoiding Rape:

Rapist is usually introverted and use isolated places.

Avoid passing through unfamiliar less crowded place at late hours alone, if you happen  to be in the situation wait until crowed of people come and then go through, like empty bus stands, train stations or other public places late hours.

Never answer  the door bell if alone at home and stranger is at the door, don’t be brave call the police.

In case of outside and being trapped in isolated place and feels threatened or intimidated by stranger lock yourself in the car and turn the car alarm, it will bring people’s attention.

In case of date rape or incest Rape kick the perpetrator hard in the groin will give you some time to escape and run to the crowded area for help.

If you are trapped with perpetrator in an isolated place scream as hard as you can to bring some bodies attention for help and frustrate the rapist.

Rape has huge impact on the victims mind and lasting effect. Rape victim can suffer from PTSD ( Post traumatic stress disorder) Panic Disorder and/or other anxiety disorders, Victim can feel every men as rapist or becomes emotionally numb and lose confidence in all important areas of life. If it start interfering with occupational, educational and social or other important areas of life seek Professional help immediately.

http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/uae/general/tamweel-tower-inferno-leaves-children-traumatised-1.1110329

It is a condition of dysfunction or structural damage in bodily organs through inappropriate activation of the involuntary (Autonomic) nervous system and glands of internal secretion.

Psychosomatic Illness

A disorder that involves both mind and body is called a psychosomatic illness. In other words, the illness may be emotional or mental in origin but have physical symptoms. Psychosomatic illnesses are not imaginary. They are physical disorders in which both emotions and thought patterns are believed to play a central role, and usually develop when a person’s disease-fighting ability is weakened due to stress. After a particularly stressful event, like the loss of a loved one, for example, an individual might develop high blood pressure shortly afterward or even have a heart attack. In another person, the same situation might lead to a peptic ulcer or a series of asthma attacks. A third individual, equally as grief-stricken, might not get sick at all. For a psychosomatic illness to occur, a person must first be vulnerable in a particular body system. It’s important for these illnesses to be recognized and treated as soon as they occur.

Mental conditions either can cause or can make the physical illness worse.

Psycho- Physiological disorders.

• Skin disorders  ( Eczema, skin pigmentation, etc)
• Musculoskeletal disorders ( Aches and pains, etc)
• Respiratory disorders ( Asthma, Atopy, Etc)
• Cardiovascular disorders (Heart condition, etc)
• Genitourinary disorders ( frequency, urgency, etc)
• Endocrine disorders ( Thyroid, Diabetes, etc)
• Disorders of organ of special sense – Chronic conjunctivitis
• Disorder of other types – Disturbances in the nervous system in which emotional factors play a significant role, such as multiple sclerosis

Hypochondriasis

It is  “Unrealistic preoccupation with a fear or believe (non delusional) of having a serious disease based on the individual interpretation of physical signs or sensations as evidenced by the physical illness. In addition appropriate physical evaluation does not support the diagnosis of any physical disorder which can account for the physical signs or sensations or for the individual’s unrealistic interpretation of them. The fear of having, or belief that one has a disease, persists despite sufficient explanation and medical reassurance.”

It Occurs between age 20-30 and affect both sex equally and Diagnostic Criteria require it should last for  6 months

Somatoform Disorders.

Classification of Somatoform disorder and dissociative disorders

Differentiating points between Somatizations disorder and Physical illness

1-    Involvement of multiple organ systems

2-    Early onset and chronic course without development of physical signs and structural abnormalities.

3-    Absence of Characteristic Laboratory abnormalities of the suggested physical disorder.

• Describe symptoms in dramatic and emotional terms
• Seek care from more than one physician at the same time
• Describe symptoms in vague terms
• Lack signs of defined medical illness
• Have complaints that medical tests fail to support

People with somatization disorder do get diagnosable medical illness too It is very important to  R/O Actual physical disorder.

To measure stress according to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, the number of “Life Change Units” that apply to events in the past year of an individual’s life are added and the final score will give a rough estimate of how stress affects health.

Score of 300+: At risk of illness.

Score of 150-299+: Risk of illness is moderate (reduced by 30% from the above risk).

Score of 150-: Only have a slight risk of illness.